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Newsnama

By: Ranjita Biswas

Newsnama
As the famous adage in journalism goes on what makes news,‘When a dog bites a man that’s no news, but when a man bites a dog that is news’.

Well, in the topsy-turvy world we are living today, with  a seven year old war –longer than the Second World War actually, going on  in the Middle East but people often do not seem to realise, murders, crimes and harassment of citizens  becoming like ‘ maach- bhaat’- a daily occurrence, as Bengalis say, it is perhaps better to fall back on some newsy bits  to get comic relief  to escape from the stifling ambiance of  ‘Breaking News’ never mind the ‘dog’ bit.

 

So how do you react to the news of a cow falling, literally, from  the sky  on a poor man buying vegetables in the market below, breaking his limbs in the process? Sounds like a cock and bull story?  But it really happened in Kolkata recently . Now, the second question comes to mind, how come the cow was tethered to a rope on the terrace of the building? Whose illegal caper was that? Why the poor cow, which died anyway, was hidden there? It happened in West Bengal, thankfully, yet to be invaded by over-zealous ‘gau- rakshaks’. So…?

 

Look at neighbouring Bihar. It  has gone liquor-less for sometime now, a well-meaning step to help women who had complained to Nitish Kumar, now chief minister, before the election to save them from drunkard husbands.  But prohibition, has it worked in Gujarat, or did during the 1930s in America?  

 

Now stories are going around that a particular train from a particular place in Bihar goes to eastern UP  in the morning with passengers who are mostly would-be tipplers who return happily sozzled in the evening. A case of one state’s loss is another’s gain ?

 

But the latest juggad is even more hilarious. Liquor smugglers were caught hiding pouches of liquor inside watermelons to be sent to Bihar. A common fruit to keep people cool in the hot summer is now a really hot property, eh?

 

And then there is this news of a brave woman who snatched, literally, her errand husband from  the marriage pandal in the nick of time. This UP women, not even from the city but a rural area, broke into a wedding venue just when the man was getting ready to exchange the Joymala  with his bride. In true style of once famous star Hunterwali Nadia, she put the gun on the man’s head. Marry me, or die-you can almost hear the dialogue Bollywood style. He had promised her marriage, she claimed, now she was pregnant and he was trying to ditch her.

 

In the melee, and fisticuff between the bridegroom’s party and the bride’s party, the bride-to-be, a sensible girl indeed , refused to marry the cheat. She left with her wedding party, but not before taking along all the dowry of gifts and money. Ata girl!

 

So, keep the stories coming , of the unexpected, ingenuity of the common man, spunk and juggad to bring a smile to our violent- news-weary, cynical souls, o our countrymen! Laughter is still the best medicine, never mind what the doctors prescribe!