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I woke up in the morning of 8 March, thinking of millions of women in the world, privileged-unprivileged, rich-poor, strong-weak, but all under the same umbrella designated as “Women”. I congratulated my daughter and my friends in a spirit of camaraderie, a special feeling which is difficult to articulate to those who don’t see why in this ‘equal’ world of men and women, there should be an International Women’s day. But as the day wore on, little events, unrelated perhaps but part of a larger picture, made me once again believe in marking this day with a special meaning.
To begin with, my part-time maid asked my help to trace her husband who, she suspects, is living with another woman leaving her high and dry with her little daughter. Two days back, he sneaked into their hut in her absence to take away the gas cylinder though it’s in her name, the stove and some utensils as well. Even the mobile connection is in her name but he is using it. Every time she called him he cut the line, she told me and so she was unable to know where he was setting up this new nest. So at her request, I had to pretend to be vendor of a company offering him gifts. This way, at least I could to trace his address. Advising her to go to the police station was easy, as we did. But she would rather gather her own family and teach him a lesson through social pressure. On hindsight, she might have a point. Filing a diary in a thana , even today, is something common people try to avoid. Plus what proof does she have that they are married? She says she has a picture of the ceremony but he might say it was private ceremony at a temple. Plus, she has a ration card (he doesn’t) where her maiden name has been retained.
Then I opened the newspaper and read that the All India Muslim Women Personal Law Board (AIMWPLB) has come out with a ‘Sharai Nikaahnama’, scripted in Hindi and Urdu for both Shias and Sunnis which has been termed a jihadi nikaahnama by a section of Muslim clerics because it does away with some of the constraints that bog down married Muslim women. Earlier AIMWPLB had splintered away from the powerful All India Muslim Personal Law Board for its “distinct gender bias.’’ The boldest clause in the new nikaahnama says that marriage registration should be compulsory preventing men from cheating women easily. It echoes the Supreme Court’s recent directive to the Government to bring in suitable legislation to make registration of marriage compulsory. The nikaahnama also calls for a ban on triple talaqs, the most feared words for many married Muslim women.
I wondered if my maid’s husband would have flouted his responsibility as a husband and go for a bigamous relationship if he knew she could go to the police with this proof of marriage?
On the same day was published the report on the findings of the National Sample Survey Organisation among which is that, between the ages 5 and 14, over 15% of girls have never attended school in the country. Among reasons given, 27 % of the families feel that education not necessary for girls while 18 % name domestic duties as more important .
Down south, in a ‘gender-friendly’ state like Kerala the debate over whether women between the ages 10 and 50 should be allowed to enter the Sabarimala temple is still raging on. The Kerala government is undecided and the SC, responding to a PIL filed by Young Lawyers Association, is setting up three-judge bench to examine the issue.
The variety in the spectrum of the ‘woman question’, or equality, for that matter, in contemporary India is so varied that it cannot be dismissed as esoteric in the modern context.
Postscript: My maid has been somewhat successful in cornering her husband with the help of her relatives. She said she’s going to teach him a lesson he’s not going to forget in a hurry. I can’t help admiring her spunk . She is fighting for rights in her own way though she read upto only the primary level.
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