Offtrack

Fathers on call

by Trans World Features (TWF) 05 Jun 2015, 06:50 am

New age fathers can teach a thing or two about child rearing, finds Pramita Bose. More the reason to cheer them on the upcoming Fathers Day

Motherhood is bliss — a true gift of God. From the womb to entering  the world outside, and then taking baby-steps to adulthood ,the child is under her careful nurture. But is the modern-day hand-holding process only a mom’s call? Don’t the cool daddies play an equally important role to raise their infants in a safe and secure ambience? Well, today moms are not the only multitasking one, papas are following suit too.

From royal princes to wage-earning commoners, the current-day papas no longer believe in preaching hollow diktats but pitch in as dutiful guardians and caregivers to share duties of child-upbringing. “A ward expects equal and undivided attention from both parents. He feels more complete that way. Even single mothers often slip into fathers’ shoes to fill in the void. So why can’t a husband shift gears to render a homemaker’s role or play a male nurse?” reiterates Salony Priya, counselling psychologist and  director of Ummeed Counselling and Consulting services, a multi-speciality positive psychology centre at Kolkata .

Exploring the softer side of men automatically reduces the stress on mothers, Priya observes.  It will also leads to a society more fair in their expectations from  parental guidance.“ The issue is primarily not of equality but of gender sensitivity. With the changing work-patterns this is vital. New-age nuclear units have replaced the erstwhile joint family systems where the kith and kin pitched in child care,” she points out.    

Many husbands today even stay on at the labour room with his wife. Gynaecologist  Sharmishtha Patra looks at the value of emotional succour from the perspective of a mother-to-be. “It works wonders actually. If a man wears the pants as an earner, provider and protector, then can he not walk that extra mile to morally support his spouse in the hour of emergency? A hubby’s physical presence inside the labour room can boost his wife to tide over the painful phase and savour the pleasure of  sharing in the experience of   giving birth, “ she opines.  

For Bengaluru-based IT professional Tapan Rath, a fine balancing act is his key to success. A doting dad to a nine-month old baby girl, this verification team leader at a reputed American MNC remembers his role-reversal as a manager of household chores as well as handling crucial meetings on his laptop from home.

Recollecting the night when his wife was in labour, Rath says he had  driven the car himself to the hospital, although his in-laws were present too. “It was a huge relief for me, because alone you don’t quite know how to tackle an emergency,” he notes. That crisis period over, now this hands-on-pa not only holds the feeding bottle correctly but also does his diaper duties like an expert when required. “At midnight or in the wee hours, we take turns to look after the crying baby as she comes alive and keeps wide awake for the nocturnal feed,” gloats the happy father, who doesn’t mind a spate of late sleepless nights and fighting the morning blues for the sake of his crawling daughter.

Homemaker Khushbu Mahtani of Mumbai was running a salon for a year before she got pregnant. She resigned from her private-sector job in the sixth month of her pregnancy. “Mothers are naturally bonded to their children through a nine-month umbilical cord connection. However, the father starts getting a hang of a new life only after nestling and taking care of the baby. Therefore, it’s highly significant for him to be there at the time the child is born. This aids him embrace his newly gained identity with effortless ease,” she advocates

Delhiite senior journalist-blogger Nawaid Anjum, who works with a mainline English print daily, decodes his job-profile as a 24X7 soldier. His life-partner Shireen Qadri who used to work with a leading publishing group, reveals: “Albeit I had a cook and a domestic help to rustle up the meals and do the dishes, plus my aunt to supervise everything, yet Nawaid had stunned me with his super-activity in those critical weeks. He was much more organized and took charge of most of the things. He took me to the doctor, addressed my erratic food cravings, went grocery shopping and a lot else. On the contrary, I would always recline, watch movies, read, sleep and be on a repeat mode.” Having quit her full time job last year, Shireen now free-lances. The  couple  still clubs as a team to tend the child.

“As parents we have equal stakes in the child-birth and its rearing. I can gleefully say that my two-and-a-half year-old son Maaz is more attached to me than to his mom. I bathe him, pack his bags, get him ready for his playschool and also tell him bedtime stories,” he says happily.

PR consultant Sapna Tolani believes that the “Post-delivery, the first few months are very taxing for both the spouses and adjust to a third member in between them which may act as a catalyst to cement their chemistry. Hence, sharing the workload is advisable to benefit their personal equation.”

Despite his sporadic duty-hours would spurt disturbing sleeping disorders, yet call-centre employee Indranil Sen wouldn’t forget to “serve breakfast on the table” for his wife when she was pregnant and even “dropped  her at the workplace in a hired morning cab,” when the baby bump started showing up after an initial few months. “She is a school-teacher and had to finish off the syllabus for final exams before obtaining the hiatus. So naturally, I replaced her as the boss of the house and told her to slow down and switch off all worries,” he says with a confident smile.

 Image: A still from Pursuit of Happyness / Creative Commons